PAN International 77
PAN Provisional Astroshamanic NewsEzine of the Sacred
Editorial Director:
Italian Edition: Anna Luna. Spanish Edition: Susana Sanz
© 2007
This PAN is devoted to Pisces, the ultimate gateway and astrological build up of all the preceding signs. As a result, this sign can apparently be too much, just like this PAN, which is probably the longest so far. Hence I will be short, at least in the opening article.
The voyage through the zodiac from Aries to Pisces is the celebration of the Mystery of Love. And since here Love is meant as Wholeness, Unity and eventually God, the zodiac circle (i.e. the astrological equivalent of the Christian Cycle or Liturgical Year) is also the celebration of the Mystery of God. God and Love tread with us wherever we go. Hence even if look for God and/or Love as if I have lost them, they continue to go with me side by side or, perhaps more exactly, inside. I do not truly need to do anything special to earn that Love. God and Love cannot be captured by my goodness. God loves me as much as when I am good or bad. God loves both the saint and the sinner. The only difference is that the saint knows it, while the sinner does not, and this is what brings all the pain and misunderstanding. Love never abandons me no matter how I feel and what I do. This is the great experiential realisation at the end of the voyage in Pisces. What and who I desperately looked for has indeed always been with me, and always will be.
There is only one thing that can keep Love and God out of our life and this is the belief that we are not loved, that we are separate, that we are not part of the Wholeness, who is Love and God. Yes, it is true that at times things can get very hard and confused for many of us on the path, especially when we appear to lose the connection with friends, places or situations representing that Love, when we cannot see or touch their outer forms anymore, and feel abandoned. And this causes the greatest pain, for in those moments we believe that also Love is lost, that we do not deserve to be loved. As the final gateway of the zodiac path is approaching, it is this outworn belief that we can resolve to dissolve. Love cannot be lost. Love can only be provisionally forgotten. And all our loving encounters in life are reminders that we are loved, that we do not need to do anything to deserve to be loved, and that we will continue to be loved, world without end.
Major blessings on this Lenten season!
And… to conclude, please let me recommend the upcoming Findhorn Foundation Training in Astroshamanism, with its two workshops: A Journey into the Inner Universe (23-29 February 2008) and The Voyage through the Zodiac (1-7 March 2008), and other events, including the Astroshamanic Summer Gathering in Assisi, given in the calendar at the end of this elongated PAN
Love, Franco
Image: painting by Cristina Piccioni, titled Barbagli di luce tra i rami, tra foglie sospese, tra foglie che volteggiando, lasciano dietro di loro una scia.
For a video on Pisces. A Day in the Life click here.
IN THIS ISSUE
· The Kiss of Judas
· A Short Diary of Dissolution
· Restoring the Fragmented God by Astrid Gude
· Notes from the Eremo by Christine Dreifus
· Life Purpose, Self-Love, and Beauty of Water by Liza Behrendt
· The Shamanic Way of Cinema: Pisces’ Films
· Upcoming Astroshamanic Events
Astrological Data: Please click here for Moon’s ingresses and here for Planetary Ingresses.
The Kiss of Judas by Franco Santoro
Pisces, the 12th sign, completes the astrological cycle and leads it to the climax. Its glyph with two opposite crescents joined by a dash shows an obvious dualism, yet blessed by the melting presence of a third party. The glyph also stands as a portal to the ultimate, most crucial and complex zone of the zodiac. Here consciousness overflows its barren limits, pouring out into the mystery of the multidimensional deep, the ongoing stream of unconditional love or, in biblical terms, the Kingdom of God. The journey through Pisces offers the widest scenario of blessings, as well as grievances. Mastering Pisces is the ultimate challenge on the healing path. Those who succeed in such a valiant enterprise may not return to this separated reality anymore, unless they compassionately choose to help others and operate as Bodhisattva. The essence of a Bodhisattva is expressed in these verses from a prominent text in Tibetan Buddhism “For as long as space endures. And for as long as living beings remain. Until then may I too abide. To dispel the misery of the world.” (Bodhisattvacharyavatara,
Bearing in mind that it may also be possible to provide useful aid without coming back, the fact of not offering assistance to our separated world, or Human Arbitrary Configuration (HAC), does not automatically denote lack of compassion. The illusory nature of HAC is such that, once the seeker emerges into the realm of unity, separation becomes inconceivable, while the HAC’s fragmented world he previously believed to live in vanishes at all levels. Scraps of memory remain, yet merely as fleeting distractions, momentary nightmares, unworthy of attention and soon blotted out forever. The seeker wakes up from a dream and there is no way or point to return to the dream, unless he decides to fall asleep again, which will however result with ending up in a dissimilar dream, perhaps with parallel characters, yet playing other roles.
Pisces is the gateway both of reawakening and re-dreaming, clarity and chaos, redemption and damnation, the almighty gap, heralding either the ego’s ultimate sacrifice, and soul’s redemption, or yet another ego’s recycling, and soul’s loss. Whatever the case, even if the soul is lost again and the ego continues to rule supreme, in Pisces release and dissolution are inevitable.
While with Aquarius old structures and whatever does not serve anymore is shaken and shattered, with Pisces there is a time of preparation, an intermezzo for clearing out the debris of the unresolved and giving birth to the new. Yet, if this is not the case and the new mixes with the unresolved, confusion and hallucination follow, which is the notorious shadow of Pisces.
Due to its crucial role, the Pisces portion of the year has always played an initiatory function, which in Christianity is reflected in the cleansing season of Lent culminating with Easter. In view of that the main astroshamanic training weeks, such as the Foundation Training in Astroshamanism, in the past seen years have been held in this period, and this year precisely on 23-29 February 2008 (first week - A Journey into the Inner Universe) and 1-7 March 2008 (second week - The Voyage through the Zodiac).
Pisces is a most contentious sign, and here I am not referring to those who in conventional astrology are defined as Pisces. No matter whether Pisces is prominent in the chart or not, each of us has a Pisces zone in his identity. This is an area of sacrifice and disintegration, a space where all assumptions and certainties dissolve, confronting with a deep sense of void, which is the threshold to the realm of unity, God, the unconditional Love we all veritably long for. Yet at this doorsill love and fear, sainthood and damnation, and all possible opposites, stage the ultimate act of the game. One by one they inevitably emerge, and either definitively merge in their pristine deck or provisionally mingle, shuffling and setting up yet another forlorn game.
Pisces marks the ultimate shift, the completion of a cycle, the annihilation of any previous form and the carry-over of the essence to the following cycle. In the HAC’s eyes of the concluding cycle it may appear as a sign of desolation, sacrifice, abandonment or even treachery. From the inner perspective it is indeed the sign of true enlightenment, a u-turn in consciousness, where things are seen upside down or controversially, just like the tarot trump of the Hanged Man, traditionally associated with Neptune, the ruler of Pisces, and also Judas Iscariot, the most notorious of the 12 apostles.
Although different mappings are given for the association of the 12 apostles to the signs of the zodiac, all seem to concur in assigning Pisces to Judas. A traditional reference is found in Matthew 10.2-4: “Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.” As a result Aries, the first zodiac sign, stands for Peter, the first and most prestigious apostle, while Pisces, the 12th sign is associated with Judas Iscariot, the last and most notorious apostles.
Among the apostles Judas obviously stands out as the most unique. Besides being the only apostle devoid of any sainthood he is also one of the most despised and condemned men in history. When I first read about this allocation of Judas to Pisces, I refused to accept it. “This is unfair for Pisces! How can Pisceans cope with it?” I pondered about the issue, and then thought that the 12th apostles, similarly to the 12th Planet as described by Zecharia Sitchin, may identify a HAC’s controversial zone. At first I thought this related to Mary Magdalene, who in this case would be the true, yet unmentionable, 12th apostle, the one that appeared not to know how to love him (click here for the famous song in Jesus Christ Superstar, 1973). Yet this consideration was still based on my assumption that Judas was bad and that it would be unfair for a zodiac sign to be associated with him.
All official Gospels and Christian accounts show Judas as the traitor who gave up Jesus to those who crucified him. For "30 pieces of silver" he betrayed Jesus by identifying him with a kiss in the presence of Roman soldiers and then later returned the bribe and committed suicide (click here for the scene of Judas' Death in Jesus Christ Superstar, 2000). That seems a lot to bear for Pisces, yet the point is that Fishes are also masters of deception and comedy.
The recently discovered and authenticated Gospel of Judas provides an alternative view (click here to see the homonymous National Geographic movie). This text portrays Judas as a strategic traitor acting at Jesus’ request. According to this text Judas is described as Jesus’ closest disciple and the only one capable of truly understanding Christ’s work. In the most controversial passage Jesus tells Judas, "you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.” For conventional eyes this is treason, yet between Jesus and Judas it is a sacred agreement. .A similar view is given in Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel The Last Temptation of Christ, and its Martin Scorsese's movie adaptation (click here for a trailer), in which Judas, as Jesus’ closest friend, fulfils the Christ’s destiny to die on the cross and becomes the catalyst for the event which according to Christianity brought about salvation for all mankind.
In the canonical Gospels Jesus declares “For I, the Son of Man, must die, as the Scriptures declared long ago. But how terrible it will be for my betrayer. Far better for him if he had never been born!" (Mark
The point for me here is not to feed any futile controversy regarding the rehabilitation of Judas. After all even the traditional Christian Church warns not to demonize Judas’ malice. “He was chosen by Christ to be one of the Twelve. This choice, it may be safely said, implies some good qualities and the gift of no mean graces.” (The Catholic Encyclopedia). The aim here is to meekly survey the underlying nature of Pisces. Since it is the final part of the journey I expect that, at least for those of us who are still back on the way, something most mysterious and incomprehensible is bound to happen at this point. In Pisces there must be a gateway of disintegration, a “Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shall return” zone, which can potentially and ultimately release us from the perception of separation. Here the ego may definitely disintegrate, annihilating any trace of fear and pain, and unveiling the immaculate reality of love. Yet, if we fall for the terror that this disintegration apparently involves, the radical opposite may happen, as we are swallowed once again by the ego’s predicament and recycled in the separated world.
The kiss of Judas stands at the Pisces’ gateway, a threshold of inevitable dissolution, staging either the peak of misery or the triumph of love. The ego is bound for pain, fear and self-destruction, which is what it keeps reprocessing over and over again. At the final gate of Pisces we confront the zenith of this fear. Here either we succumb alone in deep fright, providing manure for the separated world, or take firm refuge in the loving God, waking up to the true world. Whatever the case, the separated world will never be able to grasp the mystery of this crucial zone. Here we surrender to the genuine totality of our being, and no matter whether the world curse or sanctify us, whether we are celebrated as saviour or damned as traitor, we will take refuge in the Beloved and finally unveil our true heart’s desire.
God is a mystery, and life, as well as each one of us, is also a mystery. All we need to do is to allow the mystery to reveal itself and letting it be. Here we allow God to be God, and accept to be in his presence, and in the presence of whoever surrounds us, including ourselves. This attitude develops through regular practice, through provisionally and repeatedly detaching from the drama of HAC consensus reality. The final Piscean call is to become entirely awake to the mystery, to unveil ourselves by losing ourselves in the wholeness of existence, as we discover also our crucial part in this wholeness, and receive the Kiss of God.
A Short Diary of Dissolution by Franco Santoro
In the past weeks I experienced three episodes of Piscean dissolution, which I regard as the disintegration of visible forms aimed at accessing the inner form. Two occurred during the retreat at the Eremo dei Frati Bianchi (Hermitage of the White Friars) in Cupramontana (near
The Tau is the last letter of the Old Hebrew alphabet and literally means cross. This letter plays an important role in Jewish mysticism, since it carries the energies of all the preceding letters and is a representation of the wholeness of life. In this respect it is associated with Pisces, as the last zodiac sign, bringing to completion all aspects of existence. A reference in the Bible is found in Ezekiel 9:4 "Go through the city of
And Assisi, the birthplace of Saint Francis, will be the venue of the next Astroshamanic Summer Gathering! (See details in the calendar).
The following day, on Sunday morning, we recited the morning prayers and hymns of the Liturgy of the Hours, again first using the official office and then entering into the inner mystery. During this last stage, our candle holder with the image of Jesus caught fire, burning away the icon of the Christ. I was again shocked. On one hand I thought that we were doing something deplorable or demonic, and the burning Jesus was an admonition in this respect. On the other hand I was aware that the whole energy and everybody in the room dwelled in a deep loving space, which I could perceive as the inner presence of God. Later it was interesting to notice that the only part of the Jesus’ image which was left unburned were his hands on the heart.
The third experience of dissolution occurred in
The third church I explored is actually an unseen or hidden church, probably abiding only in non-HAC, the out of ordinary reality or a parallel universe. Since I was a teenager I have dreamt of a mysterious chapel in
The above intrigued me for the chapel in the movie and its access through the close matched my visions. When last week I returned to
I deeply honour all the outer forms, the visible churches, temples and religious implements, as well as all seen sisters and brothers, animals, plants, stones, earth and stars. I am grateful for their sacred presence allows me to discover their inner essence, which is also mine and ours. Still I do not know if what I am doing is good or bad, and I do question my motivation and accept my trepidations. As I face the mystery all my certitudes are released one by one, just like the rosary beads. And despite all my errors and sins, I do stubbornly resolve to embrace the mystery, and surrender to the presence of God’s Love. Amen.
Restoring the Fragmented God: Astroshamanic New Year's Retreat by Astrid Gude
Who is God to us? Do we dare to use this word? How does the God of our childhood relate to our present understanding? Is it (he/she) a loving and benevolent or a furious and judging God? What are our wounds based on experiences in our lives or having come to us through being part of the culture we were brought up in? How can we heal them?
These were to me the underlying guiding questions during the 6-day retreat over the New Year at the Findhorn Foundation. I have been involved with Franco's work through workshops and trainings over many years, but this workshop definitely brought new elements into the work, entering into areas which I, like many others, have only hesitantly approached, due to biases and wounds related to Christianity that made me, again, like many others, go on an explorations of spiritual paths related to other traditions, in my case many years of Buddhist practices that explicitly do not involve the presence of (a) God. God to me was just too closely linked with childhood fears, a repressive society I experienced in my adolescence, and also represented the epitome of a hierarchical and patriarchal world view; all the projections on father figures plus a very critical attitude towards all the things happening in the world over centuries “in the name of God” that I could not approve of.
The workshop contained a massive amount of Christian core rituals, the liturgy of the mass creating a kind of frame work: prayers, blessings, confession, baptism, reading of texts from the Bible, traditional and modern Christian music, silence, inner work. In addition we had time to connect with the particular time of the year: time of transition, reviewing and releasing the old, opening up to the new, “manifesting honourable intents”. There were (smaller) parts that made me feel uncomfortable, where I was not yet ready to really listen with an open heart, or probably rather an open mind, yet overall it was an widely opening and healing experience for me, helping to further shift my understanding of Christianity and thus providing more freedom to connect. I see it very much like the work that I and many of us do around our parents, stripping away layers and layers of pain until we are able to reach the underlying love and can come to a inner space of peace and gratitude, a purified or “uncontaminated” love, as Franco would say, the innocence of the child, yet enriched by the wisdom of the adult that takes responsibility for doing this work.
The three-stage “Ritual of the Sacred Cone”, which Franco developed for his shamanic work, provides a container that guides and holds us through this process. The space that opens is wide enough to contain the realm of duality, in which we live most of the time, where I would also place the dichotomy of the benevolent and the judging God, in the second stage and in the third stage the opening to unity, which may appear as light, as vastness, as limitless. (I will give a concrete example based on my own experience further down.) The container of this ritual is also wide enough to encompass personal healing as well as transpersonal, and the areas were they overlap, as they do.
We completed the workshop exchanging gifts, grounding love and generosity in matter.
I went to mass the following Sunday to a nearby Benedictine Abbey, a place that always touches me through its serenity and purity, where see a light-filled energy in the devotion of the monks that I have not perceived in my (rare) visits to traditional churches, and witnessed the chanting and ritual for the epiphany with new eyes and ears; the gifts of the Magi, the blessing of a cake.
Yet another major moment of deepening and integration of the workshop came about a week later when we were fortunate to have Franco as a presenter in a group of long-term guests that I am co-focalising in the educational section of the Findhorn Foundation. The session had the above title: “Restoring the Fragmented God” and I experienced these two hours as encompassing the essence of the workshop, introductory words leading us into our relationship with God and two experiential parts, again following the structure of the “Ritual of the Sacred Cone” in the experiential parts, which I saw also reflected in the journey I personally experienced to the sounds of the ocean drum and various other instruments. In the first stage I looked upon the calm, clear surface of a lake. Entering the second stage, ripples surfaced, building up to quite strong waves. I saw a horseman approaching, who appeared like the fifth rider from the apocalypse and after a while I saw horsemen getting ready for fight on the other side (for the “good” cause, as they said). I did not get involved but sank deeper to the ground of the lake, which I experienced like the ground of being (or God?), a vastness pervaded by silence and beauty.
Looking back at the year, I can identify a major area where in my life I was able to move through crisis and arrive at this layer, passing through blocks and deviations, struggling and working hard. I hope that grounding it more deeply through practices in the body, the cells, the nervous system and also the mind – all these levels are addressed in this work - it will eventually become more of a natural flow.
As much as I have come to appreciate Franco's work over the years, I believe that this adds a new dimension to it, a powerful opportunity for healing for all those who, like me, feel damaged through their Christian upbringing. One participant of the group session shared spontaneously with me afterwards that this had made it worthwhile coming to Findhorn - and she had come all the way from the Southern hemisphere.
Notes from the Eremo by Christine Dreifus
It is always half an adventure for me to attend any of Franco’s workshops, maybe it is even part of the assignment or to show my intent, this time was no different. First, I had no idea if I was going to be able to make it to
As usual in Italy the trains run a little late, so I had just 20 Minutes to change trains in Milan and I still had no ticket for the short journey from Falconara to Jesi, as in Zurich the ticket could not be issued. So I asked in every train that I boarded, but obviously it wasn’t possible. The train from
I panted breathlessly all the way to Jesi, all 15 Minutes of the ride. I was only thinking, how lucky not to have to spend the night in Falconara, as this was the last train. Arriving in Jesi, the station was empty, apart from a middle aged couple that greeted me in Russian, (dobro?) and some dangerously grouchy looking teenagers, that I passed by very quickly, only to discover, that there were no taxis available. As Letizia had mentioned, my B&B was very close to the station, I didn’t worry at all. I went into the still open bar and asked for directions, which I was given very quickly, but reassured, that it was really only a few steps away. So I grabbed my bags and went under the next underpass and up the stairs, over the street and landed into some dead end, so I asked again and was now really send into the desert, where it would have been only a few steps from where I was standing. I walked and walked, dragged my bag and walked until I thought it can’t be further in this direction, as it looked like the motorway. So I stopped and turned around. As it was already late, no one was on the street and no lights where burning in the windows, I would have rang a bell otherwise. Suddenly I saw a few windows ablaze with light and walked towards them, only they turned out to be some interior design shops. Then, on the other side of the road I saw the light of a possible bar or trattoria and entered, only to fall upon a group of the very strangest people I’ve seen in a while outside of TV, they really looked like they where plotting for the next revolution, wherever that might be. Also the place smelled like it, with smoke of all sorts of things and alcohol in the air. They refused to call a taxi for me but one of the young bearded guys shoved me toward the presumably right direction. I didn’t really trust that but went left anyway and just in front of me a beautiful small church appeared. So, I thought I’ll sleep in the church, and walked towards it, just as three people walked to their cars. I asked one of the women if she knew the Locanda del Golf, my place for the night. She looked at me a little bit surprised, but offered immediately to drive me there. She also showed me kindly, where I had walked wrong, which was really only a step away from where I had stood, when I asked for more directions.
I thanked the angels and the nice lady. Also the girl from the locanda had waited for me and I could fall onto my long awaited bed. Just as I was about to fall asleep, after several releasing runs to the bathroom, someone close by, in an outer bathroom was violently sick. That went on for half the night, and I was ready to either beat the person up or nurse him so I could finally fall asleep. As I found out in the morning, the poor chap was my fellow astroshamanic disciple Denis, who had eaten something that didn’t agree with his stomach. I slept little and with every turn the wooden bed head banged against the wall.
In the morning I got up to go to the ancient center of Jesi, to have a look around. I had several teas and marvelously, hot lemonade, the counterpart to citron pressé. Loved it. I also had some very fine polenta, before Letizia picked me up in her car at the Teatro Pergolesi. On the way, we picked up Patrizia and Giuletta waited on the motorway with a full car, to drive caravan style to the monastery, l’Eremo dei Frati Bianchi. Up the hill, through the woods on a cragged narrow path, that saw me already tumbling into the overgrowth, the monastery eventually came into sight. Magically built into the mountain, one half still demolished from time, it made a great impression on me.
We walked inside the white walls, unpacked a little and waited on the rest to arrive, to meet old acquaintances and new loves. The rooms where not at all cell like, but the temperature was considerable sub zero. The first night I kept my clothes on in bed and still felt cold. Then it would be getting hotter during the day, with our work.
The room we spend most of our time during the next three days, had an altar built on the side, where a candle was burning all the time and an offering of fruit.
We started as a group of 18 including Franco. I don’t remember all the names but I do certainly remember the faces, as they are imprinted in my heart.
On that afternoon Franco talked about finding the center, which I understood is also God, or God alone, the God within. If I have resistance I’ll call it the centre only.
My resistance to the word God soon enough faded during the weekend, very quickly actually, as I understand it much better now. I had a direct and natural connection with my God within when I was a little girl but cut that link out of stubbornness when my father died.
In the process, I spend decades roaming my mind and the world to find another connection that would equal either the relationship I had with my father or the link with the God within. Eventually I discovered that connection, my God within in Findhorn again, in the lounge at
Almost immediately we went into practice, hence touch, to experience what is important. In the first exercise I got at first no connection with the vertical axis, but then suddenly I felt very warm and protected, with my practice partner like a mother and child union.
Franco talked a great deal about how the connection to God can be lost, as we see ourselves not worthy of this and believe, we cannot connect with God, as we somehow have sinned.
I don’t need a church to pray in and my house is also God’s house.
When I refused to believe, I still kept looking for different people to love, to put me out of my misery, instead of looking inside of me, and take refuge.
Forgiveness is also a great factor, if it is to us or to other people, to the world.
On Friday evening, Franco explained about working with clients.
When everything is fine, I don’t need a healer. Healing is no religion, no believe system.
My happiness comes from within, then that feeling cannot be attacked, that is the aim: to find my inner pleasure.
On Saturday, we learned more about the healing process and where also joined by three more people.
Important for me was the message, that I don’t need amazing healing power as I need to draw the energy from the connection with God, so everyone can do it.
We worked also on our intent, which is very important with this kind of work.
We went out into the yard to work on that. I wandered around a bit and then faced the Eremo and suddenly a great feeling of happiness came over me and I got the clear message that I have everything, that I just need to embrace it.
That was very beautiful to me, as I’ve been in utter agony for the past couple of months, also with a week of depression. This message lifted me up and I started to happily play with the water surface of the fountain in the middle of the yard, creating beautiful waves.
We later joined together in a circle around the fountain in thought and in hymn.
Later on, maybe after the lovingly provided dinner from the small kitchen, we learned more about practices and exercised more with AS touch, which doesn’t mean tantra but can also end in an orgy of hugs and is for my liking sexier than most sex that I have encountered, and you can believe me, I wasn’t shy.
On Saturday we did several exercises and when I was active I always got a blazing headache until I realized that my breathing was completely off. So with the third exercise I could arrange that and didn’t suffer the pressure in my head and also arms.
We also recited the Lord’s Prayer and used it as a mantra to get a deeper connection. That struck me as odd at first, but Franco explained that it is important to take something that you feel resistance towards. To my surprise, after 30 years, I was still able to recite the Vaterunser in German and doing so I was moved to tears. I was a bit lost and out of concentration when all around me in a loud whisper the others recited the prayer in Italian. I felt a little separated, but went back to my own prayer eventually.
In the evening we had the Vespers, which I found extremely beautiful as I felt it was a bit like a sit down trance dance and every bit as potent.
After another cold night in the old walls we had the possibility to attend the Lauds, a morning prayer.
Franco talked about an emergency healing and we did that exercise for the past present and future. During the prayer I found myself completely at home and at ease, when I sang along to an Italian hymn I magically new intuitively all the words. We officially entered the mystery, when Franco’s sturdy rosary broke and the Jesus candle burned the face of poor Jesus.
What also struck me as a strong image was the story Franco told us about the frescos in Rosslyn Chapel in Edinburgh, where the image of two lovers is displayed. Behind them is the devil, looking the other way, where’s the couple is gazing adoringly towards the other side towards an angel, a distance away. That reminds me of wanting to seek the light where my back hurts so hard from the presence of the devil that is always near.
I was a bit puzzled by the guilt that is very strong in Catholicism. Apparently this guilt stems not from having sinned, like murdering someone, but from having sex and naturally in the end, from separation. (I of course totally forgot about my Jewish ancestors and thought Protestants don’t feel guilty, as they don’t have sex)
Sunday afternoon ended as so often in a goodbye touch with each and every one, which for me is always the cherry on the cream dessert, so to speak, and on top I’ll all see and touch them again soon. Sunday afternoon faded into early evening with Giulietta and Anna on a nearby hillock watching the amazing sunset.
Back in my B&B I collapsed on my bed at 6.30, not to emerge again before
As an epilogue, I would like to mention an American guy who got lost finding the Eremo and never made it to the workshop. He turned up on Monday morning at my B&B, having slept just next door to me. I took him to see Barbara’s shop and he caught a train with me to
On a last thought I’d like to mention that apart from the temperature inside, that was truly frigidairific, the work we did was hot, very hot.
For myself at last, I haven’t talked about God for a very long time and now I can’t stop because I need to again and it feels totally normal.
Life Purpose, Self-Love, and Beauty of Water by Liza Behrendt
In the spring of 2005 I participated in my third workshop with Franco, co-focalised by Katharina Kroeber (Astroshamanic Trance Dance & Sacred Circle Dance). I had reached age 40, a time of major life shifting, corresponding with new energetic happenings. Franco was able to advise me well on this phase. As in puberty, the person experiencing the energetic shifting may be least able to see what is happening. Franco shared that his own experience of this phase was profound, and recommended Barbara Hand Clow’s The Liquid Light of Sex, a book on these major life transitions in relation to the stars.
In Franco’s workshop I found myself associating with Uranus energy on several occasions. I chose it randomly in a drawing before a ritual in which each of us represented a planet; and in another case I was left with Uranus after others had made their choices. The powerful, chaotic energy of Uranus, both destructive and constructive, spoke to me messages that alternated between foreign and familiar. As a child I would lay awake at night contemplating infinity, trying to resolve its fright and intrigue. I never fully made peace with infinity as a young person, and in early adulthood it threatened my mental state. In this workshop, Uranus felt like a new invitation to surrender into vast, untamed potential and creative expression. Uranus began to represent infinity to me, and infinity began to signify deep creativity and boundless possibility. I began to warm to these energies.
Yet what does that mean, in a tangible way? In practical, life-choices senses, what does one do with that information? I had quit my corporate job two years prior, finished a post-graduate studies program the previous year, and was essentially floating. I had a bit of money, but no home, no family, no responsibilities, nothing to ground me. I vacillated daily between meaninglessness/existentialism, and innate quest for the divine. I was unclear on whether I had or wanted a life purpose, whether there was such a thing, and how in the world to live without one.
Near the end of the workshop Franco guided us on a journey to find our life purpose. I remember secret scepticism, in spite of my absolute respect and love for Franco, thinking that a 15 minute journey at the end of a week long workshop could not possibly bring resolution to such a profound question, finding life purpose. I practiced open mindedness, trying my best to be available for the journey experience, to not close off whatever good might come.
As Franco reminds us, sometimes the most important messages come in the nanoseconds before we return from a trance. In my life purpose journey, I remember chaos, as often happened in my journeys, until the very end. Then I received a very clear communiqué: I did not have enough self-love yet to be shown my life purpose. Therefore my work was to increase my self-love.
This seemed strange to me, although I did not reject it. I had thought that I had done that work. With ten years of transpersonal psychotherapy, and many other practices that supported my holistic health, it seemed impossible that there could be more self-love to create or discover. So be it, I thought, fine. My current life purpose, if there was such a thing, was to increase my self-love. It seemed like a pleasant assignment.
Yet, how do you do that? I didn’t know how to go about increasing self-love. I had a vague sense that I needed better inner-talk, so I tried treating myself more kindly in my thoughts. And although I forgot about the journey for a while on the conscious level, in retrospect I can see that I took the assignment very seriously.
Over the course of the next year I underwent even more healing modalities, aimed at clearing inner blocks and mental barriers. I did Neuro-Linguistic Programming, EMDR, trance dances in the
In February of 2006, after a particularly wonderful healing session at a friend’s home office, I walked along a stream by small waterfalls, stepping from path to rocks and gazing at the translucent water as it reflected the treetops above. All of a sudden a crystal clear idea came to me, an image fully formed in my mind’s eye, one that I had never encountered before. It was an idea for a project that I felt immediately, peacefully intrigued with and excited about. It even came with a title, “The Water Project.” (Later the name changed to “Beauty of Water.”)
Here is the vision that came to me: In different countries around the world, people work within their communities to design and produce a new art piece on the theme of appreciation for water. In time the art pieces come together to form a traveling installation that is open to the public. Simple, clear, meaningful, and fun.
I immediately set out to work on this new project, literally. Before driving home I phoned a professional grant writing friend and asked her to research funding sources. I started talking with friends about the project, humbly yet with confidence, and to this day I have never received negative feedback. Constructive criticism has come, some of it harsh, but never has anyone conveyed that the project is not worth doing, and most people find it wonderful.
People call it my project, and I’ve begun to identify with it. However, to me it was always something that came from another set of energies, from those beings that most love the water. It has always been clear that there is a great deal of support for this project from above and below and from other planets and from the Earth plane.
There are many stories I could share about the journey to date of Beauty of Water. For instance, I quickly realized that fundraising was not the right way to begin, and only now, two years later, are we beginning the first major funding push. I also worked with a shaman in the
It has also been a beautiful unfolding to see how well this project fits with my wide interests and somewhat disparate skills. There are many facets to the project: academic methodologies of transformation, cultural anthropology, the world of art, children’s education, collective consciousness, local and global community building, environmental activism, and more. When I first “saw” the project I was not thinking of all of those things, rather I was thinking of the fun it would be to have different communities around the world making new art together, knowing that others were doing the same, connecting in consciousness, and the opportunity to focus on the sacred gift that is water.
I have also slowly remembered messages I had received in the past that support my shepherding of this project. One particularly skilled channeler had seen that I spent many past lifetimes as water, in the
It is now clear to me that without self-love I could not do this work. The project requires courage and stamina and a belief in myself that I simply did not have access to before. Whenever one tries to do something different in the world, there are forces, or patterns, that work against it. To tame and harmonize the energies one must be soft at times, warrior at times, and aligned with the truth of one’s essential, unique beingness. Without self-love I would be utterly ineffective; conversely, with self-love I have the most fundamental tool necessary, and more to spare for the project, the people, the planet, and more-than-human energies that are a part of the process.
Fast forward to the current day. Many more rich aspects have come to me as a result of working on this project. I have made important friends, and life decisions are beginning to be formed around this project, on both work and personal levels. I no longer struggle with a sense of meaninglessness, although existentialism is a part of the human experience, I have come to accept. But I am clear on my chosen life purpose. I am currently living and working in the state of
As a Westerner with a monotheistic background, it is fascinating to perceive the multitude of dynamic, god and goddess energies that help make up
I sense that I must make more journeys to the lower world, specifically focusing on this geographic location, in order for the doors to manifestation to swing wide open. The various local energies are willing and supportive, yet there is protocol. When in
If you are interested in Beauty of Water, please take a moment to visit http://www.beautyofwater.org. I welcome your comments and questions. Contact me personally at lizabehrendt@yahoo.com or contact the project at hello@beautyofwater.org. Thank you.
The
This is the last article of this series, which started one year ago with two introductory articles appeared in PAN issue 62 and 63, followed by one article for each sign, from Aries to Pisces.
Pisces and its ruling planet
Pisces movies are usually very inspirational and visionary, encompassing the basic themes of the sign, such as mysticism, devotion, transcendence, dreams, illusions, dance, sea and marine life, addictions, deceit, hospital or prison life, My favourite in this section is Being There (click here for a trailer). The list below is only a basic selection. Each title is preceded by the name of the director. By clicking on the title you can get online details on the movie.
W.Allen, The Purple Rose of Cairo; Zelig. H.Ashby, Being There. J.Barrat, The Gospel of Judas. D.Boyle, Trainspotting. F.Capra, Pocketful of Miracles. T.Collingword, RARG. K.Costner, Waterworld. A.Cuaron, A Little Princess. F.Darabond, The Majestic. S.Daldry, The Hours. V.De Sica, Miracle in Milan. W.Disney, Fantasia. E.Dmytryk, The Reluctant Saint. G.Dunning, Yellow Submarine. B.Edwards, Days of Wine and Roses. F.Fellini, And the Ship Sails On... M.Forman, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. SJ.Furie, Lady Sings the Blues. T.Gillian, 12 Monkeys. W.Herzog, Wo die grünen Ameise träumen. R.Howard, Splash; Cocoon. N.Jewison, Bogus. A.Jodorowski, La montaña sagrada. V.Ward, The Navigator. A.Kurosawa, Dreams. R.Lepage, Possible Worlds. M.Lessac, House of Cards; The House of the Spirits. R.Linklater, Waking Life. G.Marshall, Beaches. N.Z.McLeod, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. R.Mitchell, Notting Hill. R.E.Miller, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. A.Niccol, Simone. E.Olmi,The Legend of the Holy Drinker. W.Petersen, The Neverending Story. H.Potter, Hellzapoppin. M.Ritt, Nuts. R.Rosenthal, American Dreamer. R.Rossen, Lilith. K.Russell, Altered States. J.Schlesinger, Billy Liar! M.Start, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory; J.Skolimowski, The Shout. R.Stevenson, Mary Poppins. G.Tornatore, Cinema Paradiso; The Legend of 1900.. P.Weir, Picnic at Hanging Rock; The Last Wave; The Truman Show. N.Willing, Photographing Fairies. R. Zemeckis, Forrest Gump. R.Linklater, A Scanner Darkly
There follows a list of actors and directors with relevant traits in Pisces. Their names are followed by the binary (Sun and Moon’s Sector position) or triad (Sun, Moon and Ascendant) reference. The 12 Sectors are associated with the 12 signs and houses given in their natural order: 1 Aries, 2 Taurus, 3 Gemini, 4 Cancer, 5 Leo, 6 Virgo, 7 Libra, 8 Scorpio, 9 Sagittarius. 10 Capricorn, 11 Aquarius, 12 Pisces.
Pierpaolo Pasolini (12.2.12,st); Cindy Crawford (12.12.4,st); Ornella Muti (12.7.6); Sidney Poitier (12.7.7); Michael Caine (12.7.3); Elizabeth Taylor (12.8.9), Bernardo Bertolucci (12.8.6);.Sharon Stone (12.9.6); Chuck Norris (12.9.9); Ron Howard (12.10.1; Bruce Willis (12,11,6); Ursula Andress (12.11.4); Glenn Close (12.11.5); Joanne Woodward (12.11.10); Jerry Lewis (12.2.4); Anna Magnani (12.2.4); Massimo Troisi (12.2.9); Margarethe Von Trotta (12.2); Luc Besson (12.4.5); Liza Minelli (12.4.2); Kurt Russell (12.4); Peter Fonda (12.6.3).
THE SPACE IS OPEN: The silence is more beautiful than any words and I feel a deep connection to all the precious souls in the circle. Serenity, Peace and Clarity. The orbs continue their sacred dance around us and the space is open. (
PAN needs help with transcription of Franco’s recent workshops in English, Italian and Spanish. If you would like to volunteer to transcribe some recordings, please contact pan@atroshamanism.org.
Astroshamanic Healing Sessions - How do they work and how to arrange them.
Sessions typically last 60 minutes and can be in-person or distant (over the phone). They are rather flexible and focus on the intent of the client. Distance sessions involve a preliminary telephone consultation, followed by an astroshamanic healing practice and a successive telephone consultation aimed at examining what emerged during the practice and identify healing tools. Each session is geared according to the specific issue and intent of the client. In a distant session I use various tools, such as circle release work, astrological reading, shamanic divination, soul retrieval, connection with spirit guide, space-time voyage, etc. The aim is to focus on prominent issues, both from an ordinary and multidimensional perspective, releasing grievances, while uncovering authentic talents and finding empowering guidance. If the client finds it helpful, it is also possible to have two additional sessions, or even to start a specific training programme. Fees for a distant session (60 minutes) are Euro 60 (£ 40). If you wish to arrange an astroshamanic distance session, please contact me to make an appointment at info@astroshamanism.org
Astroshamanism Book I: A Journey into the Inner Universe and Astroshamanism Book II: The Voyage Through the Zodiac feature the core teachings of astroshamanism. They are available, together with various drumming and trance dance CDs, from Franco and by mail order from the Phoenix Shop at store@findhorn.com or +44(0)1309-690954.
The Operative Training in Astroshamanism (OTA) is a certificate step-by-step course in core astroshamanism and experiential astrology which allows you to study at home as part of an ongoing interactive training. Participants will learn a wide range of techniques, directly exploring all aspects of their soul, individual and collective, as they are reflected in the astroshamanic cosmology of the 12 Sectors, the 4 Directions and the 3 Worlds. They will receive initiation into specific healing and ceremonial practices according to each zodiac sign, integrating their shamanic experiences with information drawn from astrology and other esoteric sources. A certificate is awarded at the end of the training. The OTA can ideally be integrated with the One Year Course in Astroshamanism and the Astroshamanic Practitioner Training. For further information contact: info@astroshamanism.org
Donations for PAN and Astroshamanic Healing activities: PAN is available free to anyone who has attended astroshamanic events/sessions or simply wishes to receive it. If you find PAN useful, inspiring, appealing or perhaps even revealing, any donation (small, medium or big) would be greatly appreciated (for further details contact info@astroshamanism.org). Donations will encourage us to continue on this path. Also articles and other forms of contribution are much appreciated.
PAN on-line: You can find an abridged edition of the latest issues of PAN on-line at http://panissue.blogspot.com/. The abridged Italian edition is at http://panitalico.blogspot.com/, while the full edition is available on request. The abridged Spanish edition is at http://panhispano.blogspot.com/ and the full edition is available on request.
We are always open to contributions from our readers. If you have something to comment or share please submit it for our consideration to pan@astroshamanism.org
Forthcoming Astroshamanic Events
Please be aware that new events may be added with short notice. For further details or information please contact Franco info@astroshamanism.org or click here,or alternatively go to www.astroshamanism.org
To book Findhorn Foundation workshops, please contact bookings@findhorn.org or Bookings, The Park,
The Findhorn Foundation Training in Astroshamanism
This is the most complete training workshop in astroshamanism. Participants to the training will experience practical tools for opening, discovering and supporting the relationship with their core spiritual identity and essential Intent, while also aligning with the superb energy field of the Findhorn Community and
Findhorn, 23-29 February 2008, A Journey into the Inner Universe
Findhorn, 1-7 March 2008, The Voyage through the Zodiac
Cupramontana (Ancona, Italy) 29-30 March 2008: Multidimensional Portal of the Senses - One Year Course in Astroshamanic Healing Touch: The Touch of Fire (in Italian and English): During this seminar participants are initiated into basic astroshamanic healing touch, with particular reference to the spirit body and the element of fire. This is the second workshop of a One-Year Course on Astroshamanic Touch, consisting of five workshops. It is possible to take part in this workshop also if you are not attending the one-year course, provided you have attended previous events with Franco. The workshop takes place in the Eremo dei Frati Bianchi (see image), a splendid medieval monastery partly built on caves. (For a video on the Eremo dei Frati Bianchi, click here.) The international Astroshamanic Practitioner Training group programme will launch on 28 March 2008 afternoon, followed by the above workshop.
Findhorn, 10-17 May 2008, The Blessed Way of Passion
Findhorn, 17-24 May 2008, The Spirit of Cluny Garden
Vogelsberg (
Findhorn, 14-21 June 2008, The Original Quest: An Astroshamanic Journey into Space and Time
Cupramontana (
(NEW!)
Findhorn, 2-9 August 2008, Astroshamanic Trance Dance and Drumming
Disclaimer: All information provided in PAN is presented solely for inspirational or recreational reading, and it is not meant to substitute the recipient’s direct experience and investigation. The information is also given to strategically exemplify the different features of astroshamanic cosmology and is not intended to reflect Franco’s opinion or astroshamanism in general. Franco does not necessarily endorse any of the ideas and views expressed in this literature, including his own.
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